Berlin Museum Removes All Artwork Depicting Rivers or Seas

By a government decree, Germany’s National Gallery in Berlin (Alte Nationalgalerie) has removed all artwork depicting rivers or seas from view.

According to the museum’s announcement, the move is intended to prevent creating “the conditions for the probability of the possibility of inadvertently alluding to the chant ‘From the River to Sea, Palestine Will Be Free.’”

The removed works include Gustave Courbet’s “The Wave” (1869), Caspar David Friedrich’s “The Monk by the Sea” (1808-10), Carl Blechen’s “Fishermen on Capri” (1834), and hundreds more.

The decision is a watered-down version of a previous proposal to landfill Germany’s Rhine river in solidarity with the people of Israel.

“If we’re serious about respecting the historical traumas of the Jewish people, we must eliminate every river, canal, and creek in this country,” said one parliament member, also pledging to never visit a beach for the rest of his life.

The German media praised the move, accusing several international bodies of water, including the mighty Nile, of maintaining “an ongoing stream of antisemitism.”

Members of the German left — now down to five people — have protested against the new measure, but no one paid attention.

Due to lack of space at the museum’s storage facility, some of the removed artworks were transferred to an underground warehouse located in a former World War II Nazi bunker. Oh, the irony.

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